Beguine

I like computers, but they don't like me

Thu, 27 Nov 2008 16:04:21 GMT

The Friday after we got back after the honeymoon, my computer display stopped working properly. Pictures were pretty much unviewable because of the random static-y distortions, things on the screen seemed to move just a little bit, and even solid bars of color were fuzzy around the edges and had random discoulored areas where they were the wrong shade of, say, blue. I tried restarting, shutting it off for a few hours, reinstalling all the video drivers, having wushi reinstall all the video drivers, and eventually wushi tried restarting it in diagnostic mode. Nothing helped, and the distortion even occurred in diagnostic and safe mode. Since this indicated it was a hardware problem and I was out of warranty, we decided to try taking it to BestBuy to see if they could fix it. They said that they'd want an $85 dollar deposit and permission to go up to $135 in repair costs, and they'd ship it off and call if it was going to cost more than that. We shipped it off, and I prepared to deal with thee weeks of only being able to sometimes borrow wushi's computer (with which I deal with varying degrees of grace).

Two weeks later, Best Buy called me. The problem, they said, is with the motherboard. They will need to replace the whole thing, to the tune of $550 dollars. wushi and I figured that since that's halfway to a new laptop, we should just get a new one, and he found me a pretty nice little machine on ebay for less than 900, all sales permanent. We gritted our teeth (it being right after the wedding and fixing the roof) and made the purchase, and I call Best Buy and declined.

A few days later, my new laptop arrived around the same time that my old laptop arrived at the local Best Buy. We went and retrieved my old one and found out that since we had declined the repair, the estimate itself and shipping was only going to cost us $35. Feeling glad to at least get $50 back, we headed home and set up the old computer so I could check and make sure I'd gotten all of the files I wanted off of it. So we fired the old laptop up....

and the monitor worked perfectly. Presumably, the problem was really a loose connection, and when they put it back together, they knocked something back in place. So now I'm sitting here with two laptops (which is rather nice, actually) and a 900 something dollar bill including warranty with no returns (which is less nice). I suppose we'll use the third one for emergencies (like when Jon's laptop inevitably breaks) and travel and the like, since I don't feel like I can really trust it now. And I can't say I'm really mad at Best Buy for unintentionally fixing my laptop for $35. I just wish they had fixed it a little faster.

Fight in the dark

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 00:53:32 GMT

After a polite prompt from Justice, Tess explains that her main goal is to get everyone else safely back to where they came from. This was the assignment that brought her here, and one she intends to fulfill. In order to accomplish that, however, she realizes they may need to accomplish what they have been brought here to do. In order to do that, she is generally in favor of the goals that Rere mentioned. Tess observes their guest carefully, having already used Mastery of Small Manners in order to glean what she can of Justices' intentions and opinions from how he responds and holds himself.

Stalling (and also legitimately curious), Mackenzie says that he has told them his short term goal (finding out about them and choosing more powerful watchers based on that), but not his own long term goal. It only seems fair that he do so as well. As he begins to answer, Rere activates Invoke the Heart's Refrain to get a sense of his motives in what he's telling them. Justice says that he is past the age of having specific larger visions and goals by several centuries. His overarching goal is to maintain order and harmony between Heaven and the way things are. Mackenzie asks what that means if things are not as they should be, and he responds that it would mean he is not doing a very good job. Mackenzie nods, hoping he will forget about asking for her goals or not pursue the matter. This is not to be however. Mackenzie says that she feels the group is very young, perhaps too young to commit to a definite course of action For now, she feels they should learn as much as they can as they go, and learn to be less dependent on others judgment and help. He asks if that is it, or if she has more short term goals. Feeling somewhat mischievious, she decides to chatter about a design for a flying machine and the difficulties of making an automated tea pot and spice trade futures until he stops her or she's interrupted. Unfortunately he listens to her chatter rather longer than she anticipated, partially for politeness sake and partially (as those with socialize charms active realize) in the hopes that she may reveal a bit more than she intends. Tess eventually comes to her rescue, and changes the subject.

Tess brings the conversation back to the aforementioned relationship between heaven and the way things are. She brings up the river metaphor for the loom of fate, and the idea that while many small pebbles and stones create slight perturbations in the river, occasionally there is a shift great enough to change the course of the entire river. She asks if Justice is able to predict shifts of that magnitude and if he interferes. Justice says that some of that sort of large shift have been predicted, and on certain occasions they have interfered. For example, there have been several times when the Empire has had the potential to fracture. While heaven does not at this time oppose a major shift in the Empire, some of the details of those possible courses made them unacceptable and Heaven took steps to prevent them from coming to pass. Rere asks if he predicted their appearance or the return of the Solars and the appearance of the Abyssals, and Justice admits that they did not but they are "managing". Tess shoots Rere an amused glance at this (faintly testy) admission of a lack of omniscience. Justice says that he thinks they have risen to the occasion fairly well, and that he thinks they have dealt with the group fairly evenhandedly. Their initial response was perhaps clumsy, but it should remembered that they didn't know what had stepped through into their reality. Rere says she finds their attempts to capture the group much more understandable than the pogrom against the solars whose essence were not successfully locked away that was ongoing until recently. Justice says that no Exalt that was solely the chosen of the Unconquered Sun would be willing to tolerate the excesses of the Empire. While these excesses are undesirable, trying to curb them via a conquering army would likely lead to even more chaos and suffering, and the ability to see the excesses of the Empire and doing something about them does not guarantee that one would rule any better. Rere counters that while she agrees that good revolutionaries aren't necessarily good rulers, she still thinks it's wrong to chop some clueless 16 year-old's head off because of what he MIGHT do, without even trying education as an option. Justice argues the point a bit further, then says that some of their own efforts to gradually shift the direction of the Empire include the training of young Terrestrials from near birth, much as they have been doing with their watchers, and after several decades in the service of heaven having them return to influence their families. He says that they hope to produce Terrestrials with more breadth in their world view and to curb the self-serving influence of growing of an aristocratic family. After acknowledging Eli's comment that teaching selfishness is about all nobility is good for and saying that it was not always so, he comments that they have tried this tack two or three times and are starting to get the hang of it. Rere asks if it might be that Terrestrials going by the name of Bright Fame or Radiant Praise might have been in one of those earlier groups. Justice smiles knowingly and says that it isn't his place to name names. However, he says, it is fair to point out that the Emperor was ALSO in one of those original groups. The Emperor's path indicates to him that they gave the previous group plenty of responsibility but too much direction. However, in the current group those like Lava Torrent indicate they might have given too much direction, as Lava Torrent is not enough inclined to question the rightness of his actions or orders. Tress dryly congratulates Justice on the breadth and ambition of his plan to alter the course of the Empire, which Justice accepts with good grace.

Tess brings the topic back to the offer of a tour of Heaven, and indicates that she, at least is interested, and would be happy to discuss things with Justice in the future. Eli asks about what Heaven looks like, and Justice tells him to imagine a place where people can build their homes out of whatever material they like, including snowflakes or fire, and often do. Though the effect can be somewhat chaotic, he finds it quite beautiful. Eli and Mackenzie ask about his place. He says that the halls where the Sidreals do most of their work resemble to buildings at the height of the First Age. As for his private home, it resembles the rice farm he grew up on long long ago. A few more pleasantries are exchanged, and Justice leaves with Southern Crown in tow.

Ted and Eli go to check on Sefu and Ancient Tree, and spend some time goofing off with them. Rere slips off the ship and asks to speak to Ma'at. Ma'at shows up shortly thereafter and goes for a walk in the desert with Rere. Rere brings up Jason's disappearance, and notes that it was confirmed for them that their kidnapper used sorcery, since it would seem logical that the undead army was also his and everyone knows sorcery and necromancy are mutually exclusive. After all, they pull your exaltation and mind in opposite directions, and hypothetically one could imagine it would take something as powerful as a primordial (a particularly stupid primordial that didn't actually know what they were doing) to change an exaltation enough to allow for both, and even then one could theoretically imagine that the strain of both would drive the exalt utterly insane. Ma'at (who, in Egyptian mythology was the wife of Thoth) asks if theoretical affliction this could be cured, or if the death of the current exalt would free the exaltation from its madness. Rere says that unfortunately she imagines that the damage done to the exaltation itself would likely be near impossible to untangle, and that the best outcome might be that the exaltation eventually is passed to a mind strong enough to eventually learn to hold itself (mostly) together. Ma'at says somewhat grimly that obviously in that case destroying a host that had proven itself incapable of containing a madness would be a kindness both to the exaltation and to the poor being that had received the exaltation. Rere say's she's sorry, and Ma'at says she needs to go talk to the other Lunars about Rere's speculation, and makes a somewhat gruff exit.

Mackenzie begins to seriously think about what she needs to do to make people more independent and capable of standing against their enemies and more powerful acquaintances as need dictates. Rere asks her about the silent communication devices she had mentioned once before, and Mackenzie says her thoughts had turned to those as well. Macknezie begins sketching and doing equations, and eventually informs Eli that she needs gold. A lot of gold. She explains that Orichalcum is one of the ingredients she will need to make these devices. While Orichalcum can sometimes be found in its natural state, the first age mines are gone. However, in can be purified from gold (with a volcano and a really LONG chain). She says she'll need a few other components as well (such as shadow that has never seen the sun), but the gold will be a good start. Eli considers options, and eventually decides that "the kid" could use a training merchant. The group begins discussing exactly where they're going to liberate this gold from, and Sefu mentions a particularly rotten merchant in his home city who is literally swimming in gold thanks to some of his shadier associations (including the Terrestrial Empire). The others are quickly sold. Ted wants assurances that the merchant's crimes are a little worse than mere greed before he's willing to sign on to thievery, but Sefu is willing and able to provide him with a laundry list of other sins both petty and terrible.

Eli checks out the building in bird form, and says that it appears pretty large and well-protected. Ancient Tree, who goes out to find what he can dig up with just a skin of peach brandy, reports that the merchant has a horrible reputation as an employer, but that he does not actually employ guards at night, apparently relying on the near-impregnable nature of his vault. Indeed, after examining the building, Eli says the only likely way in is from the glass ceiling 20 stories up, and the sheer smooth sides of the rectangular vault make an aerial approach necessary. There is some wrangling about how they will enter. Tess is leery of their ship being spotted in the city as she doesn't want to stir up local trouble. However, she reluctantly agrees that there are not enough people capable of flight currently in the group to constitute a safe task force to break into the vault, and the few ways they can think of to get a large enough group onto the top of the vault without bringing the ship needlessly close are so convoluted that they beg for failure.

The group begins to build a large double pulley system that will allow them to first lift off a section of the roof of the vault and then lift the gold and the others out. Mackenzie (with no ulterior motives whatsoever) says that perhaps they should warn the SS about what they're about to do, and eventually succeeds in getting agreement for her plan to tell Young Leaf. She happily heads out to tell him, and while he is not disapproving and is somewhat thankful for the advance warning, the meeting is disappointingly platonic. Mackenzie returns grumbling about a distinct lack of smooches, and gets a big sloppy tiger kiss from Eli that somehow fails to console her.

That night, Omar mans the pulley system on the ship as the others head out. Mackenzie and Ted stay on the roof to provide potential backup, and tho others enter the vault. Inside, the vault holds a cave-like darkness. The group creeps through the building, and finds themselves around the corner from two humanoid guards with the heads of wolves though they are clearly not beastmen. The two speak in some strange language which Tess eventually recognizes as a variant of Malfean. Realizing that while money can't by happiness, it can apparently buy demon guards, the group conducts a whispered debate on what to do. They eventually decide to approach as stealthily as they can and then attack. Sefu, Rere, Tess, and Eli move quickly forward and engage their opponents. Sefu hangs back and throws daggers, while Eli shifts to tiger form to deal with the threat close in. He and Tess quickly dispatch one, but the other is merely knocked down and to Eli's horror seems to dissolve through the floor. Eli hurriedly warns the others to expect company and the four close ranks in anticipation of another fight.
................
Quotable Quotes
................
Justice (on the potential for contracts with non-animal gods): “I do not, however, know how you would take the form of hope.”
Lyric (OOC): “See, there’s this guy named Barack Obama…”

Ted: “Just to get the ball rolling, introduce [Ma’at] to apple sauce.”
Someone: “What?”
Ted: ”Mott’s Apple sauce…”

Someone (OOC): “I thought we killed Thoth not Set.”
Marc (OOC): “You apparently Thoth wrong.”

Ted: “I’d rather take down a slaver or a hockey mom.” – Ted

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 23:35:32 GMT

Wedding went smoothly, honeymoon was awesome, and my polling place had stickers. Life is good.

At worst she knew

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 21:36:26 GMT

about introducing a policy to charge rape victims for obtaining forensic evidence. story here

At best she put someone in a position of power based solely on how personally loyal they were to her (heck of a job, Brownie), and then didn't make sure they were doing their job right.

But this measure was introduced on her watch in a state with one of the highest rates of rape and incest. So either she's a crony-loving incompetent, or just plain horrible. Either way, this is not the first woman I want in an executive role in the WHite House.

In my imaginary free time.

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:52:29 GMT

Just my first email from a Nigerian scammer in my gmail account. Now, I've always love things like this. (There's used to be another great one up under the name David Ehi, but it seems to have been taken down). So, despite the fact that as it is I"m behind on everything and in no position to do much writing...I find myself tempted to use the opportunity to tell a story. But about what?

Buahahaha

Tue, 19 Aug 2008 21:47:07 GMT

My life does not include time right now for some of the longer posts I'd like to make, but such is life. In the meantime, I present you with this:
http://theweaselking.livejournal.com/3023952.html?nc=10

I'm behind on posting

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 21:37:33 GMT

But I just wanted to remind everyone it's the last day to see Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog, which is extremely awesome. Who knew Doogie Howser could sing?

Blog Like It's the End of the World

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 18:32:32 GMT

Well, that was even more fun than expected. Thanks to everyone that decided to play along, it made this thing even more fun. Anyone that wants to get involved next year with their own posts and lj, they coordinate this thing through Blog Like It's the End of the World.

Let me know next year if you want to coordinate, either using this continuity (if zombies is even the theme next year) or a new one.

Just to make sure everyone's on the same page, I was not really kidnapped by vampires, and despite the coincidence of an outbreak of African rabies and killer salmonella on tomatoes on the same day as this blog event, there really wasn't a zombie attack. Sure, you can imagine in a cynical fictional universe the one thing that could get the government and a bunch of vampires together is a good cove-rup to keep people from panicking or asking too many questions, but fortunately we live in the real world, and our government has to confine itself to conspiring with things that actually exist. So to reiterate, I am not being held prisoner in an underground bunker in case of another outbreak that actually wipes out the species, I have not been replaced by a robot or anything silly like that, and everything is back to normal. Have a great weekend!

eulogy

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 02:14:54 GMT

They got yerbrainondrugs. The zombies I mean. I don't know if the vamps got him or not. First confirmed death of someone I knew. I was, god it was stupid but I was hoping they were all just hiding out without phones, you know? But they aren't, and my life isn't waiting for me, and the world we knew is gone. And of all the people I knew it might be just the three of us and elengul 's not exactly untouched by it. My friends were out there dying today, and I sat safe behind a computer screen and that was the closest I could get to helping them.

There's a lull. We're between waves of refugees. Well, I say waves, but maybe I should say ripples. Survivors are few and far between. I was going to write about the feeding thing. It was, I don't know it was creepy but fine I guess. I just don't care about that right now. I can't afford to think right now, but at least I'm helping someone. So that's doors are opening there's some burn victims back to work.

bat's out of the bag

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 23:16:27 GMT

Alright, so the Mulder and I just finished talking. Here's what he told me. Take it with a shaker of salt though, because I'm not sure how far we can trust this guy, and also I'm not sure I trust ME anymore. I mean, I'm pretty sure I'm myself, and one would think if I was being influenced I'd be feeling a lot less hostile right now. On the other hand, they really are vampires, so they might be able to do weird mind control stuff and are just playing it subtle. EDIT: Mulder says if he was really controlling my mind my spelling would improve. Mulder is an ass.

Right, I'm stalling. So apparently they're really vampires. As in honest-to-god, bats and fangs and sunlight and drinking blood vampires. Mulder claims they can't eat donor blood, but they don't have to kill the person they're feeding from and that their victim recovers in a couple of weeks. We'll see. He says that it's in their best interests to make sure as many of us survive as possible, and that we're going to need to work together if enough people are going to make it that both species survive. He may be right there, I don't know. I mean, it sounds like some people are doing alright out there on their own, but for how long? More than a few people have stopped posting awfully suddenly.

More info on the zombies, at least according to the Mulder. Mulder claims that the zombies are the result of an government attempted "vaccinate" against vampirism. Apparently, they managed to essentially make a highly virulent form of vampirism that's almost immune to sunlight (apart from the rotting) and bring the garlic allergy down to almost negligable levels (though apparently if you dump a zombie in an entire vat of garlic you will kill it).   Oh, and as an added bonus in 95% of cases the subject becomes mindlessly insane (Not sure about the other 5%, though I have some ideas). Evidently science and magic did not play well together in this particular case. Not sure how the comet relates, though apparently the last times the "vaccine" got lose the comet was around to. Mulder's explanation: it's magic. Wonderful. Anyway, I'm not sure how much of this is bullshit, but Mulder claims the headshots and the stake through the heart thing works (or rather almost nothing else works) because these guys are essentially modified vampires.   Important note: presumably they work on vampires too along with the sunlight, although as far as I know the zombies aren't quite as fast and don't fly. Also, the vampires are smarter (in most cases. Hi there, goon1).

I still don't know what to do. wushi thinks for now at least we should work with them at least for now because 1) We're in a bunker surrounded by vampires that for the moment aren't keeping us drugged and chained up. wushi approves of this situation. 2)Said bunker is surrounded by zombies. 3) Magic+ technology created this. So maybe magic+technology can cure it?

I think he's right, or at least for now that we don't have much of a choice. Mulder said that in the next couple of days I might end up playing lab assistant to people trying to find a solution that doesn't involve nuking large portions of the surface, but tonight they're going to potentially have wounded people coming in tonight, so we're going to be helping out in the infirmary.    Before that...apparently the thing in the parking garage+being awake during the day took it out of goon1 enough that he needs...to eat. I volunteered, but apparently at the moment they're not accepting girls for the role of milk cow. See, if you're going to be pregnant you can't really afford to be periodically losing blood. Bad for the tater tots. Did I mention that there was one thing missing from my bag? I'll give you a hint. They were small, individually packaged, and are occasionally compared unfavorably to raincoats.    SO. wushi is going to be the volunteer instead, which I agreed to as long as I could be present. So I'm going to watch one of them feed from my fiance. Fun fun.

The thing is...I understand on some level.   I mean, I'm a biologist. If you have a suddenly drastically reduce population, you want a genetically diverse sample that's going to reproduce a lot, and if you're a rational parasite you want to worry about the health of the females the most, since they're the rate limiting step in reproduction. Preferably you want multiple pairings as well to maximize genetic mix and match, so we'll see how long before they start interfering with the monogomy thing, assuming the zombies don't get us and they don't lose control and eat us.    So, I do understand. I just don't like it very much.

Mulder says he also wants wushiand me to help him talk to the other people that got grabbed about what's going on. Apparently he thinks in person I'm good at keeping people (that aren't me) from panicking but also critical enough to be credible. We'll see.

Those of you on the outside. I don't know what to tell you. Tonight's going to be the worst of it, they think, both in terms of the zombie attacks and the weird magical bleedovers. But, as to whether or not you should cooperate if you encounter any of the vampire "rescue" squads. Well...    I think the parasites may genuinely be slightly better than the crazed predators unless you're really really REALLY sure that you have enough food and water and that there is NO WAY a zombie can get at you. I mean, they aren't treating us badly, they are (for admittedly selfish reasons) seemingly trying to help, and considering how brutalized elengul and Laura were... But in the end I think that should be your choice.    I just hope I can help you make an informed one. Good luck, everyone.

Rock and a hard place, part two

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 20:20:05 GMT

Oh. Oh crap.

Well, the good new is elengul is safe. He's pretty freaked out right, now but he's going to be okay. He and the girl (Laura?) made it here, though they ran into trouble more than once lost the other two on the way. That's two people I know safe. I'm luckier than most. Alright, here's the other news that anyone else in contact with a 'safe zone' needs to bear in mind.

I don't know how to explain this.

So... I'll just say what I saw. Before I got a chance to post the game thing one of the real docs got tapped to go provide first aid if needed, as a car was coming into the garage. I came along to hold hands and roll bandages. Mulder stayed behind coordinating everyone else, but Goon1 and Goon2 came with. They led us through a maze of passages before we got to the parking lot to wait for the car. Elengul showed up about 10 minutes after we got there. The chevy looked like it had lost an argument with a tree, but elengul (who is an ungodly good driver) made it to the garage. Unfortunately there was...well... I guess there was a zombie clinging to the underside. Not someone who was sick, or mind controlled. A zombie. He looked like he'd been dead more than a day, though in this heat who knows. Anyway, it went for the girl fast and jesus it was fast. Goon1 was faster.

But alright, alright alright we already have government conspiracies and comets right? So goon1 is an enhanced soldier or something, not that big a deal comparatively. But. then goon1 wrestled the zombie to the ground and then it tried to bite him and-I guess I know why they didn't want to mount another rescue mission until night time, and made elengul come all the way to the underground garage. And why they fed wushisuch an iron-rich breakfast. I'm guessing they're allergic to garlic, too. Cause goon1 flew up to the ceiling and slammed the zombie into that. He didn't jump really high. He flew and then goon2 followed him and ripped the thing's head off and I saw them when they came back down from the ceiling and their eyes were red and they had fangs and then we were going through the tunnels and I was okay because I was trying to help elengul keep Laura and the doc calm. I don't remember most of the return visit but once they'd taken Laura an elengul to the infirmary I tried to talk to goon1 and he growled at me and shoved me badk into my room and now the door's locked and I don't know where wushi is and the door is presumably guarded by cranky vampires.

Alright, alright I need to calm down. Panic doesn't help.

Here's the thing.There's food here, and the zombies don't seem to compete that well against the goons. We're alive, but I don't know for how long or what the conditions will be. If you're alive and out there, I don't know what to tell you yet. The calvary may be coming, but I can't say for sure yet if being part of the cattle herd is better. I'm not sure whether or not survival is going to be preferable under these circumstances. I need more information before I can decide for myself and I really need wushi. The Mulder's knocking at the door. I guess I should pick a new nickname now but I'm not really in the mood. He says we need to talk. I'll post what I find out.

Nothing important

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:47:43 GMT

wushi's been roped into teaching self defense. Not sure how good kung fu is going to be against people infected, but it's better than nothing and at least people feel less helpless. He's going to teach the basics of fencing next.

Been on the internet looking for more information. I figure the more consolidated information we get, the better off people will be, and besides I'm only willing to trust Mulder and the goon squad so far. A lot of it is pretty sketchy. I keep hearing mention of a comet? Anyone know anything about that? I mean, a lot of people are saying something similar happened last year when the same comet passed through, but I don't see how a comet would speed up either a biological or man made infection. The guy who posted it seems to know what he's talking about when it comes to defense, but, well, he's also talking about the "living dead" and I don't want to spread internet hysteria when things are already this bad. I mean, actual zombies? I'm more inclined to accept the zombie tomato theory.   EDIT: Mulder says it could be giving off particles that are acting as some sort of catalyst, but that he thinks the infection might have spread too far this time for the problem to sort itself out when the comet leaves. Come on, zombifying space dust that somehow isn't steralized by a fall through the atmosphere? Then again, I've already accepted magical heart-repairs, so why not.? In other news, apparently my computer has been bugged or has keystroke software on it since I hadn't posted yet and he told me this. Evidently Mulder believes in freedom of speech but is less keen on the whole privacy thing. EDIT2: Mulder would like all of you to know that this assessment is in essence correct. Mulder needs to get his own damned journal.

Alright, this stuff is really getting to me. I feel like such a wimp. There's people out there fighting this hand to hand and I'm whining because I just have to watch it from a safe distance.   Thank god people are posting. At least we know someone's still out there.   God, I hope the people we haven't gotten in contact with just lost phone service.

The thing is. I mean, it DOESN"T make sense as a biological infection. Almost, but there's too much weird stuff like the heart thing. And nano doesn't really fit either. Not exactly, though that's closer. I'm actually starting to consider the whole actual zombie thing and there's something weird about Mulder and his people and-gah. I can't do this. I'm clearly going crazy. I'll be near my phone, but I'm going to take a break and put the game summary up on the community for wushi's game. I guess that was the last session. Sorry, sorry that sort of thing doesn't help anyone, I'll stop before I get anymore maudlin. I just want one thing to be normal. Besides, elengul 's do to arrive in 30 minutes if he makes it, and since there's not a damned I can do till he gets here I might as well have something to distract me. If I get ANY info I'll post it. Stay safe.

Rock and a hard place.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 15:48:29 GMT

First off. Anyone out there reading this who's still alive. PLEASE CHECK IN WITH US. Let know you're okay. Please. I have my cell, and I'm online, and the electricity and computer networks are still up, even if a lot of the TV stations are starting to show static.

Ate breakfast and met the other 'new arrivals.' This is getting really weird. They've got a bunch of 20-30 something doctors, teachers, farmers,engineers... I think they kidnapped a couple of army people too. These guys are almost definitely not part of the regular army or government agencies, though apparently they have control of Aberdeen? These people are from all over, and I do mean ALL over. As in, they've grabbed people from India and Korea and Gana and literally everywhere. An embarrassing number speak English.. They also have a bunch of teenagers that have been here for longer; some of them almost a year. The kids looked somewhere in the 18ish range; they look like babies to me. Apparently a lot of them are runaways and street kids, people that won't be missed. I think they were thinking in terms of ...maximum reproductive capacity. Ergh. People were pretty angry, but the Mulder got most people down to the level of grumbling. Apparently, the part of the crisis he's managing is us. I have to say he's pretty good at it. The Mulder is pretty charming for a guy that looks like he hasn't slept in two days or seen the sun in two years, and he took his nickname with reasonably good grace but...I'm getting the impression that....well, if this were a movie I don't think he'd be one of the good guys.

So the fact that they're letting me post this much information worries me. I mean, the internet only has so much credibility, but still....Locations? The fact that they've been kidnapping kids?

They don't expect life to go back to normal after this. That's why it doesn't matter what we find out. So I think they figure the more they're (relatively) honest, the more cooperative those of us inside and anyone who's making it so far outside will be longterm.

Besides, in terms of crazy zombie rabies virus-proof compounds with large short-term food supplies and farming equipment for later, they're sort of the only game in town. Particularly judging by the news. The government is collapsing. I guess they'd call out the army, except for the fact that yanno, they're almost all in Iraq for some reason. They finally turned off the TV after some blond fox anchor chick got grabbed on live TV. I think they figure they've scared us enough now.

I'm not going to say people should avoid them. I think their tips for dealing with these things is legit, and like I said, we don't have a ton of options. However, if you're out there somewhere, you need to know what you're getting yourself into dealing with this people.

I'm okay

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 13:32:45 GMT

Hopefully everyone else is. wushi is calling everyone who's cell phone number I have. I don't have a huge friend's list, so pass this along to everyone.

Alright, so I just talked to some FBI agent-type guy, and he showed us the news reports. Jesus. Apparently there's this...rapidly moving rabies-like thing. I don't know, it seems to spread like a fluid-borne virus, but some of this stuff just doesn't make sense, and I don't think the Mulder clone (he introduced himself as Jon, but I already know too many of those) was telling us everything he knew. Anyway, this is straight from the Mulder's mouth, and the media seems to either be ignoring the problem or adding to the panic without actually being helpful. Typical.

1)The virus (or bacteria, or... insanity bug? I don't know) is spread by bodily fluids,commonly bites.
2)Incubation period varies between 45 minutes to a few hours (Which is awfully short).
3) Symptoms include severe neurological disfunction, including loss of speech and seemingly long term planning abilities or even rational thoughts There seems to be adrenaline misregulation, as well, considering the speed and feats of strength, as well as the aggression in some cases. That explains the biting thing, I guess.
4)The people I'm seeing on TV infected, don't look good. Mulder-clone wouldn't give me a straight answer on whether it was ultimately fatal, but...
5) You should stay home, if you can. You want to be in a building with few entrances, and at least enough food and water for a day or so.
6) Like I said, a lot of the victims have some sort of adrenaline misregulation. They're like someone on PCP, only without the rationality. So...you want to barricade yourself in, because a lock might not stop them.
7) Again, since they're like someone on PCP, they're hard to stop even with significant physical damage. You either need to destroy the nervous system or the heart. Also...alright, this is where it gets weird. According to Mulder wapple you have to either decapitate them or keep something driven all the way through their heart. He claims that if, for example, you just shoot them in the heart the damage will heal over or something, whereas something like an arrow, that stays in the wound will keep them from repairing. I told him that diseases don't do that, and he wouldn't explain further. But according to the footage from the news shows it seems to be true. Maybe some sort of nanotech/bio weapon? I get the feeling Mulder and his people might be more involved in what's going on then they care to admit. The point is, try to stay away from them if you possibly can. If you can't....unfortunately you're probably going to have to kill them
8) Mulder says they're "taking steps" to deal with the problem. They're hoping to quarantine the infected, or halt the spread, but it's already moving so rapidly.... I asked Mulder if they were working on any sort of cure, and if they needed someone to pipette things into test tubes to help), and he said they'd see what happened in the next 24 hours, but at the moment a new person in a lab would be more trouble than they're worth, which I understand.
9) This part is hard to even type. Apparently, we're in some sort of...doomsday insurance policy underground compound. This thing is already spreading all over the world and, Mulder kept assuring us that grabbing us was just a precaution, and he hinted there might have been a smaller outbreak before, but...I think they expect this to wipe out almost everyone, and we got kidnapped to make sure that there are people to start over with. I-jesus. I got grabbed because they want as many doctors and nurses and stuff as possible, and I haven't even done my clinical rotations but there was room in the van we happen to live on a major road, so...we were convenient. Plus I have promising test scores or something, and wushi has experience teaching kids from kung fu, I don't know.... apparently I got kidnapped because some quasi-military organization kept track of my FREAKING USMLE SCORES AND OUR HOBBIES.
10) They said they're going to go out to round up more survivors tonight. I don't know why they're waiting so long, but Mulder said something about them not having the manpower to mount another rescue mission until then, which DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Anyway, hopefully help will be on the way then. Spooky government conspiracy help, but help nonetheless.
11) They're going to be transmitting safety information and updates through phone calls and the internets, and also on radio station 98.4, 98.2, 98, 97.8,97.6 and 97.4. (I don't know why they aren't using the TV and the regular radio stations to do safety transmissions. Maybe they aren't government after all? This whole thing is nuts, and I'm not entirely convinced that I'm not...hallucinating or something).
12) I asked if survivors should mark where they're hiding somehow, particularly since the victims seem to have suffered too much cognitive damage to figure out that a red x on the door or something means people. Mulder said they have "technology that will allow them to detect uninfected people." Sure? I mean, we have some sort of heart-repairing zombie virus thing, why not a vital sign scanner or whatever too?
13) PLEASE STAY SAFE.

Some goonish-looking guy just brought us breakfast (Fruit and a salmon and cream cheese bagel for me, liver and onions with a spinach salad thing for wushi, it looks like), and then we're going to get a chance to talk to the other people that got grabbed I think. I'll let you know what's going on. Please check in an let us know you're alright. Be careful. Hopefully they'll find a vaccine or something, or at the very least I'll see you after the rescue mission tonight. I love all of you

General Stuffses

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 11:32:09 GMT

Long time no blog. So! My proposal went really well; one of the toughest people in our department (and one of the two people that asked me actualyl tough questions, to the point where I thought he didn't like it) complimented me on it being smooth, and my boss said that while she normally had a whole page of critiques for people after their proposals, all she needed to say to me was good job. Yay, me!

I'm up late now baking a cake for a co-worker who's starting a faculty job at the end of the summer. Alcohol cake lives again! Still, I'm up past midnight and I have to be up at tomorrow so I can get a Bradford done and not miss the going away mini-party. I am going to fall asleep face first in the standards tomorrow.

I've been really tired lately, in general, actually. While for me personally its actually been a pretty good year, it's also been exhausting. The two talks in one week (I also did a 10 minute talk at the program retreat two days after my proposal on some results that didn't fit into my proposal neatly. That went really, well, but still), + other stuff going on, + the heat have really taken it out of me. I have to say, it seems like the whole world has been getting a lot of ups and downs this year too. On the one hand, you're finally starting to see things like due process for the prisoners at Guantanamo Bay, there's Obama and hope that the rest of the world might despise and fear us a little less in a year, there's the Supreme Court Decision in California. And on the other you have the horrible weird weather all over the place (flooding in the midwest, snow still in Seattle...comparatively the mini-heat wave in Baltimore doesn't seem to be that big a deal), and now there's this virulent flu that seems to be showing up today. I guess a lot of people are really really sick, and they're going down FAST, and it's having all kinds of weird neurological sequalae. A lot of admissions to the local hospitals. I feel guilty for not being over there helping, I mean I'm just across the street from them . Well, hopefully by this time in a year in a half I'll be helping people directly instead of doing horrible things to rodents for a while. I think I need a break from research anyway, though I'm not sure

::::EDIT:::::
Alright, I don't know what's going on. I got grabbed by some guy in military fatigues somewhere around 2 AM. I think I was drugged; not sure I'm thinking straight, though maybe I'm just freaked out. wushi's here, too. I don't know where we are, but I have my wallet and my bookbag and computer and everything. What the hell? I asked wushi if this is, I don't know something involving his work, but he has no idea what's going on either. What is going on, and why the hell did these nutbars kidnap me an then leave me a laptop with wireless access and-my cellphone! My cell is still in my bag. I thought it was missing but wushi found it. So.. maybe we've been kidnapped by terrorists for ransom or something? I hear someone coming, posting beforfer its too late

Alcohol cake recipe

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 23:58:54 GMT

Happy birthday, black_op! I asked black_op what kind of birthday cake he wanted, and he said "an alcohol cake to make the pain go away". However, one person's facetiousness is another person's challenge, so here's what I came up with based primarily on this recipe:
Note, if you're one of those people that tastes everything as they go (like me), don't plan to drive anywhere immediately after baking this.

Chocolate Alcohol Cake:

cake:
2/3 cup boiling water
1/2 cup rum
1 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
2 cups all purpose flour
1 3/4 cups sugar
1 1/2 tsp baking soda
2 tsp baking powder
1 tsp salt
2 eggs
1 cup buttermilk
1/2 cup unsalted butter (softened)
1 cup instant pudding mix
(bunt pan and greasing agent, either baking spray or shortening)

apricot brandy glaze:
1/2 cup brandy
1 cup apricot preserves

chocolate frosting
1 cup bittersweet chocolate chips
enough kahlua to fill in the space between the chocolate chips (more can be added for smoother consistency

butterscotch amaretto icing
about 1/3 cup butterscotch chips
1tbs amaretto

Preheat the oven to 350 F. Grease the bunt pan. In a small bowl, pour boiling water over cocoa, stir to dissolve cocoa. Add rum and set aside.

Combine dry ingredients in a large bowl. Add eggs and cocoa rum mixture; mix with hand mixer. Add buttermilk, butter, and pudding mix. Mix thoroughly.

Add batter to bunt pan. Bake for 40 minutes or until fork inserted into cake comes out clean. Set cake to cool for about 10 minutes. Heat apricot preserves in microwave for about 1 minutes. Add brandy and stir. Remove cake from pan. Puncture cake with small holes. Brush apricot mixture over cake. Coat thoroughly. Any excess may be poured in center.

Melt chocolate chips+kahlua in the microwave for about 30 seconds, or until melted. Stir chocolate until smooth. Spoon and spread chocolate over cake. Excess can again be poured in center Allow to cool for about 15 minutes.

Melt butterscotch+amaretto in the microwave. Drizzle over cake. Serve, scooping excess glaze and frosting onto plates as sauce if desired.

Yes, Virginia, there will be a graduation

Wed, 21 May 2008 19:23:26 GMT

I just met with my committee. They decided I was ready to propose. I will be proposing publicly on June 3rd. Hopefully, the next summer I go back to med school.

Stockholm: heading home (Sunday)

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 19:23:59 GMT

I got up at 8, finished packing got dressed, and fooled around on the internets without waking up my roommate. I met J and F downstairs and we got on the subway to head back to the bus station. Although Stockholm was in general a very clean city, for the first time we encountered trash and smelly unidentifiable liquids in the subway. I attributed it to the remnants of drunk people heading home after a Saturday night out. We arrived at the bus station, and I got separated from J and F (I wanted to stop and grab breakfast, and they had earlier flights, and hence buses to catch). Om my wn after grabbing two of the awesome pastries I'd found before, I settled down to read the rest of the short stories in the back of "I Am Legend" I think a lot of people I know who are horror fans would like Richard Matheson's work. The bus arrived and I headed to the airport. The line was fast moving, and the people at the Scandanavian Airlines Desk checked me through all three of my flights with no problems. I carried my laptop and bag o' souveinirs through security with no problems, and spent my remaining crowns on chocolate and a smoothie. I made short work of the rest of the short stories and worked a bit on writing up my travel journal

. The flight to Coppenhagen, only an hour was on time and left without difficulties. Unfortunately, my layover was only an hour and we landed a bit late, and my next flight was all the way on the other side of the airport. I hightailed it through the airport, cut a bit in line to get through passport control (hey everyone else was doing it and my flight was already boarding), and ran to my gate. I got to my gate to find that their was anther line before you could enter the gate proper (forms listing a contact in the US for US citizens, other forms listing where people were staying in the US for noncitizens). I had to go through the line twice because I didn't see the sign about the forms the first time through, and finally got to my gate to find notices of us boarding had been greatly exaggerated. I had time to go to the restroom before they finally started boarding first class.

The flight to Chicago was...long, particularly because I decided not to sleep on the plane since I was getting in to Baltimore around midnight local time (7am for me) and wanted to be able to sleep then. I started reading The Last Dragon, an interesting debut novel of the fantasy complex political/martial machinations variety, though there were some rough edges and some parts that bothered me (the story is fairly character driven and there's at least one person from each culture as a main protagonist that breaks up or at least makes three dimensional their culture's stereotypes. Nevertheless, the backdrop of the story is still the crude and harsh but reasonably noble Teutonic barbarians versus the machinations of the overly byzantine Asian people and their exceedingly warlike African mercenaries.) Still, I'd probably give another J. M. McDermott novel a try. I watched three movies on the plane as well. I found Juno to be good overall, though I thought sometimes the dialogue got a little overly snappy which didn't always blend well with the emotional complexity of the story (deciding to not terminate a teenaged pregnancy, class issues, step parent relations, marriage problems). Dangerous Liasons was good, and I think I preferred it to the modern retelling, Cruel Intentions. I found all the characters to be slightly more sympathetic in this version, and I thought the portrayal of genuine connection between the Marquise de Merteuil and the Vicomte de Valmont that soured because of their mutual inability to trust or be trustworthy much more interesting than the equivalent between Sebastian and the much less complex Kathryn in Cruel Intentions. O Brother, Where Art Thou was able to make me laugh out loud. I'm not generally a big George Clooney fan, but I liked that one.

I finally arrived in Chicago. My layover their was three hours, so I took a pretty leisurely pace making my way through security and customs. I'll say this for O'Hare, they were very efficient at keeping people moving though the international terminal, rechecking bags after customs and generally getting people to their connecting domestic flights. On the other hand, our proceedure for visitors has become ridiculous. I just had to show my passport and a customs form to get back into the country, similar to what I had to do to enter Stockholm. Non-US citizens get ALL 10 FINGERS fingerprinted AND photos! I mean, come on. That's just silly, and I frankly doubt it actually makes anyone any safer (unless the idea is to make it easier for the visitors to get new identification issued once they're mugged in Chicago or New York and their money and ID gets stolen. Somehow I doubt this). I really don't think this is going to prevent another terrorist attack an better than limiting the amount of shampoo I can carry on does. I made my way from terminal five to terminal one via train. Despite the easy time though security, by that time I was shaky and exhausted, with no patience left for a complex novel. I bought a snickers bar and called wushi, but game was still running. I decided I NEEDED to give my brain something easy to occupy it, so I payed the six bucks for internet access and surfed the web while I waited for wushito call me back. I had expected the flight to be nearly empty, but it was in fact overbooked with no more flights out until 9 pm the next night (or noon if you were willing to fly to Dulles). I was VERY grateful I already had a guaranteed assigned seat. wushicalled me shortly after game ended, and we talked until I was ready to board. He talked me into sleeping on the plane, since it was by that point near my normal bedtime on EST as well. I'm glad he did, and I spent the flight home in blissful oblivion. I got in on time, and wushi arrived only a few minutes late (driving error and warning from a traffic cop). We collected my luggage, drove home, and I finally fell into my own bed.

Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:55:31 GMT

I woke up early to go to the first two rounds of talks. They’re something of a blur: I was getting pretty tired at that point. However, I did hear one thing that was really really cool. See, I’m interested in neurodevelopmental diseases, and one of the big fears with these diseases is that while we may eventually learn how they occur, once they are detected it will be too late to treat them. The worry is that the damage is already done by the time the symptoms show up, and that once the brain has developed abnormally, one can only at best mediate the results. Adrian Bird has results that suggest that might not be the case. She works on the protein that causes Rett syndrome, an X-linked disease that is normally fatal in boys and causes a syndrome very similar to autism in girls. She showed that if you knock back in the protein in mice, you can reverse their symptoms (mostly motor) even after the symptoms have already developed. That’s a an incredibly hopeful study.

I decided to take the morning off and went with H to see the Vasa. This ship was built in the 1600s as a symbol of Sweden’s military might. In order to compete with the large number of cannons the Danes had put on their last warship, it was built to ride very high …which caused it to tip over and sink in the first stiff breeze it encountered, with almost all hands lost. Normally warships aren’t my thing, but it had been recommended to me by so many people before going there that I figured I almost had to see it. It was fantastically well preserved, and the presentation on how they managed to raise it from the ocean in the 1950s was amazing. It was really dark in the museum so most of my pictures didn’t turn out, but I did get a few shots.

Here’s a detail shot of one of the cannon ports.

Here’s a picture of a combination lock from the 1600s: I thought a few people from game would think that was cool.

Here’s a picture of some board games from the same period recovered from the ship, which also might interest certain game people.

I left the Vasa Museum a little before H and got a chance to see J and Fs posters just before the poster session ended. I skipped out on the “industry and science” talks to go back to Gamla Stan and the Nobel Museum. I eventually found my way to Gamla Stan. (At one point I frustratedly pulled out my map, thinking that I should have passed the entrance to Gamla Stan already. I asked a hotdog seller how to get to the main pedestrian walkway that leads into Gamla Stan, and realized from his answer that I must, in fact, already be there). The Nobel Museum ended up being very small, but I’m glad I made it. They had an exhibit on the discussion between design and molecular science, with artistic depictions of things like myosin and the insulin receptor, as well as art and design inspired by molecular science.

Here's an artist's depiction of clathrin coated intracellular transport:

Here's some jewelry inspired by molecular structures

Here's what the Nobel prize looks like:

I walked around inside for about an hour and then went out and ended up finding things I liked for a few people in the shops. Chocolate was surprisingly difficult to locate. I bought some more bus tickets, and made it back to the Karolinska Institut just a little too late to see the closing remarks.

I headed back to the hostel, and met the other MD/PhDs to go out for a (very disorganized) dinner in Skeppsholmen. The first restaurant we tried to go to was too full to take walk ins for a part of nine on a Saturday night, but their was some brief confusion when they though that we must be another party (since how many foreigner-comprised parties of nine were there going to be on a single night?) that did have a reservation, and seated us even though we told them we didn’t think we were them. So we ended up at least getting free water before getting kicked out when the actual party showed up. Eventually we found a Greek place. (It’s surprisingly hard to find places that just do traditional Swedish food. Stockholm is very proud of its international food) and I had some decent calamari. We hit a bar after that and got some excessively expensive drinks at one of the local bars. The alcohol is absurdly overpriced there (20 bucks for the equivalent of a Smirnoff ice), but the bar we went to was pretty neat, with one of the bartenders spinning techno music. We chattered about popular culture and gender relations as much as possible over the din. After one drink, most of us headed home, to the disapproval of one of the MD/PhD student’s friend visiting from London. He did not approve of calling it a night at 11 pm , but a lot of us were flying home the next day. I packed my stuff while my roommate, who was staying an extra day, looked at what sites she wanted to see. I arranged to meet J and F to catch the subway to the bus station, then went to bed.

Stockholm: presentation

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 01:13:04 GMT

I woke up at 6, a half hour before my alarm. I (finally!) showered, and put on my lucky presentation button down shirt. I was presenting that day, and also the talks I wanted to go to the most were primarily then, so I knew there was going to be no sight seeing. I got dressed, put on a small amount of makeup, and headed down to meet D and F, the girls I had talked to the night before, for breakfast at 7:30. They were late and the line for the free hostel breakfast was surprisingly long (I was expecting non-conference people to not be up and eating until at least 8 something), so I got in line. The “breakfast buffet” was pretty meager. I got some bread and butter (the other option was cold cuts), orange juice, and some (probably frozen) strawberries and raspberries. I was worried the girls were just skipping breakfast, but they came down when I was about halfway done, and I held the table for them while they grabbed a quick something. We chatted over breakfast and decided to talk to the organizers about the seating thing. They hurriedly finished breakfast and we jumped up to catch the bus to the Karolinska Institut.

The Karolinska Institut, where I spent all day. Rather ugly.

We arrived 10 minutes before the first talk at 8:30. We went and said that we were all put in overflow seating, and the conference staff tried at first to be “firm” with them. We told them that we were the MD/PhD students, hoping there had been more mistakes and assuming that since the scholarship had been presented as an honor and the presence of the 12 of us had been mentioned in the opening remarks, they would want to make sure we actually got to see and interact with the presenters. Instead, we were told that all the people that were in the main lecture hall had “actually payed” to attend the conference, and that there were even some “paying people” who were seated in overflow. I think we were all a little shocked; talk about turning an honor into a stigma! I pointed out that this meant we had no opportunity to ask the lecturer’s questions, and the huffy woman who had told us that we shouldn’t be complaining about not being treated as well as the ‘paying attendees’ did look a little chagrinned at that, but didn’t change her position. We explained that there seemed to be extra seating in the main room last time, and only a few people in overflow. We were told that at some point there had been “at least 30 people” in the overflow room (I think it was more like 15). We asked if we could sit in the main room if there was room and just promise to get up and go to overflow if they ran out of seating for people in the main room, and they were pretty resistant to that idea. Finally, J explained that her mentor was presenting the second talk, and she wanted to at least see him in person. They seemed to find that a persuasive argument, and finally agreed that IF there was enough room and IF we promised to leave if they ran out of seats, we could move to the main room for the second talk. We went to the overflow room, triumphant. Of course, for J in reality seeing that talk in person should have been a lower priority since she see’s her mentor every day, but the bureaucrats bought the argument and we were able to tell the door watchdog that we were given permission to sit in the main room ‘as long as their was room’, which we proceeded to do for the rest of the conference. Hooray for being demanding!

The talks were all really good, although I didn’t absorb as much as I would have liked. They were organized into 4 back to back 30 minute talks and then a break, and one can only take so much of that before one’s brain starts to shut down. The topics were primarily clinical, from fragile X syndrome to autism to obsessive compulsive disorder and Tourette syndrome to the genetic versus environmental factors gong in to age related cognitive decline. One interesting thing I learned was that apparently Tourette syndrome is frequently associated with obsessive compulsive disorder, and for patients with both the feeling of anxiety and pressure that is relieved by, say, touching to doorknob four times is similar in feeling to the pressure that is relieved by the Tourette tic (more commonly something like throat clearing than vulgarity). I actually did ask a question (demonstrating that my complaint was valid after all, so there!), and found out that Tourette’s is another neurodevelopmental disease that is more common in males versus females. I would have felt more nervous actually asking a question, but after the horrible questions this one woman asked the bar was set fairly low. This woman had the day before ticked off Eric Kandel by basically implying it was impossible to distinguish between developmental effects and functional effects of knocked out genes (not true with some of the expression controls today), and also took up all the time for questions dogging him about that. That day, her ‘question’ was really an excuse to yell a Daniel Weinberger (a reasonably big name in the field) for not citing her work. His talk was about how some of the criticisms of gene studies on diseases such as autism for not having enough statistical power are not as relevant when one already has a reason to suspect something might be a candidate gene, and she basically told him that the stats for her candidate gene was better than his and what did she have to do to get her work published in big name journals like him and why wasn’t he citing her. Everyone was a little taken aback, and he replied that if he sent him her work he’d take a look at it, and she actually said that she had and that she hoped that if she publically confronted him than he’d “actually look at it”. By this point the audience was nervously tittering. Anyway, asking questions at a conference can be pretty scary, but by comparison I couldn’t help but look articulate and polite.

My poster presentation was from 12:30 to 3. I was a little sad and nervous at first because it seemed like during the first half hour everyone else was getting more traffic than me. However, that evened out after a little bit, and Bruce McEwen, a big name in the hormones field (who was brought to my poster by his mentee, J), seemed to think it was good work. I was exhausted by the end of it, and the last three talks were a bit of a blur.

We headed back to the hostel and had about 30 minutes to dress for dinner before the bus picked us up to take us to the Museum of Modern Art. I finally met my roommate, M, who was lamenting the fact that she would be going to the dinner in jeans because her luggage had not finished the trip with her. I commiserated, and we went downstairs. It turned out M was at the same school as J and F! S, a fourth year med student who was close to F and had tagged along with F to do some sightseeing and decompress before she got ready for her internship, was a bit taken aback by M’s jeans (the event was relatively formal) until I made sure to casually ask M when her luggage would be delivered. Everything smoothed over, we got on the bus to head for the Art Museum.

The museum is on the island of Skeppsholmen. The grounds are lovely, and it’s in a very pretty part of the city, but we didn’t have much time outside and the interior was too dark for good pics with my little camera. The featured exhibit was Andy Warhol. Huge dork that I am, I spent most of my time trying to figure out whether Rere (my character in Jon’s Exalted game and inspired by Mimi from Rent) would love Andy Warhol or hate him. (I eventually decided the answer was yes). As open as I generally am about my dorkdom, I decided to not share my musings with my companions. We got champagne and hors d’oeuvres and chatted.

Eventually we were shown into dinner in a banquet hall with a gorgeous view over the water. The food and wine were fantastic, although not designed for vegetarians (the first course was smoked salmon and the second was steak). The other MD/PhDs and I were sitting with some women from Romania, and they asked us about med school and graduate school in the US (and how it compared to House). We had a pleasant evening. The night was S’s last in Stockholm, so she was a bit sad that dinner ran late (we didn’t leave till 11), which meant that her plans to go out clubbing with J and F (who both had their poster presentations the next day) were effectively squashed. We got back to the hostel, and I said good by to S, who hugged me goodbye and urged me to take some time away from the conference tomorrow and do some sightseeing ( a lot of people had opted to come in a few days early or late to see the city, but given the upcoming wedding costs and the home improvement costs, I had opted not too). I promised to do so, and went to bed.

Pics for Arrival Journal

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 01:02:35 GMT

.One of the touristy shops in Gamla Stan

Royal premises in Gamla Stan
:

narrowest alley in stockholm

town hall, location of the Nobel Prize Banquet

the gorgeous view from the town hall

it was really really pretty

Stockholm: arrival (Thursday)

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 13:54:45 GMT

We landed about 15 minutes late, at 7:45 AM local time. I arrived at Arlanda airport, and found somewhat to my relief that most of the signs were in English as well as Swedish. Speaking the modern lingua franca as a first language makes life a lot easier sometimes. I found my way to customs with no problems, all set to proudly answer that I was here for “business”, rather than pleasure. Unfortunately they didn’t ask why I was here or where I was going or what I brought with me, or much of anything really. They just glanced at my passport, stamped it, and waved me through. I freshened up a tiny bit, then claimed my luggage. I found the shuttle bus to Stockholm Central without problem, and showed the driver the receipt I had printed out. I found a place for my luggage and settled down. A slightly older Swedish woman sat next to me on the bus; we didn’t speak. I spent my time looking out the window. I got an impression of tall spindly pines and auto dealers with signs in Swedish, but the bus definitely wasn’t taking a scenic route. Mostly the babble of voices around me was in Swedish, which sounded a bit like German to me.

I got a little anxious as we got into the city and started to make multiple stops that I would miss the Central Station stop, particularly because the driver made most of the announcements in Swedish, but I needn’t have worried. I got off the bus at around 9 spent a few minutes wandering around to get my bearings, and found the lockers. I asked at information where to buy bus tickets and how to get to Gamla Stan (old town). The bus tickets there are sold at Pressbyran (translates as newsshops-basically a convenience store), so I went to the one in the bus terminal and bought eight bus rides plus a couple of pastries I didn’t recognize and some mango thing to drink. I knocked down some gum with my suitcase in the process, and managed not to get too embarrassed about it. The people in the store, and in fact everyone I met, spoke very good English. I got some change for the lockers, put my suitcase and poster tube in on,e and sat down to eat the pastries which were really really good. I walked over to Riksgaten, which is a pedestrian-only road that crosses onto the island of Helgenadsholmen, and then Gamla Stan. The entire city is built on a series of islands, but it’s very easy to cross from one to the other. I took out my map to make sure I was going the right way, and a nice local man asked me where I was trying to get to, assured me I was headed in the right direction, and told me to check out the Nobel Museum and that if I went the other way on the same road I would reach more shopping that was less touristy. He was a bit scornful of the touristy nature of Gamla Stan in general, and made it pretty clear he thought I’d be missing out if I stuck around there. It was one of the few times that someone didn’t try to address me in Swedish first; a map and a camera make a great tourist badge.

I found Riksgaten and turned right to head towards Gamla Stan. My advisor had been right; there was shop after shop of postcards, magnets, and Stockholm T-shirts, as well as a sudden babble of English-speaking voices. I got a Stockholm magnet for our departmental secretary because she collects location magnets, but other than that I didn’t see much that interested me in terms of shopping. The bridge over the canal to Gamla Stan was beautiful, as was the view of the city from the water. I took some pictures, and wished

wushi were with me since I think he would have loved it. Gamla Stan is the oldest part of the city, and some of the buildings date back to the middle ages. I pulled my map and the walking tour I downloaded from the internet out, and started off to explore, grinning like an idiot. I found the royal offices but decided not to go in, and I think I saw the changing of the guard somewhat by accident. The pace of a ceremonial guard is so much sharper and louder than a soldier’s; I think it’s to compensate for the plume-covered hats. I wandered on, found the Nobel museum and the Spanish church which is one of the landmarks of the island. I began to wonder if I was starting to get jaded after the couple of trips I’ve made to Europe; one older European city begins to look very much like another. Then I spend 20 minutes looking for the Marten Trotzigs Grand, the narrowest alleyway in Stockholm, and had great fun squeezing through it. I decided I probably wasn’t becoming jaded after all.

At around 11:20 I left Gamla Stan feeling very Brave and Accomplished for finding the old town on foot rather than relying on the subway system. I returned to the terminal to get my luggage and began looking for the local bus stop to my hostel . I couldn’t find it, and decided being brave and accomplished was all very well but I was tired and slightly lost and my luggage was heavy. I hailed a cab and told him the address. I ended up paying 150 crowns (about 25-30 bucks) for what ended up being a 10 minute ride; transportation in general is ridiculously expensive here, and even a bus ticket cost the equivalent of six bucks or so. Fortunately, I’m getting reimbursed for this. I got to the hostel and found out that the conference hadn’t managed to arrange for early check-in for us (check in was from 3-6, and the conference was running that day from 2-5:30), but that they would store luggage and knew we weren’t checking in until later. I resigned myself to not being able to change until that evening, payed 20 crowns (about four bucks) to store my luggage, and pulled out my laptop to shoot a quick email to

wushi. I got directions to the bus stop that goes to the Karolinska Institut where the conference was being held, and found it without difficulty. I took my poster with me so I wouldn’t have to worry about hanging it the next day.

The bus ride to the Karolinska Institut took about 20 minutes (sadly again through a non-scenic part of the city). The conference was being held on the other side of campus, and with twisty walkways, no signs, and a rather ambiguous map (at least if one doesn’t speak Swedish), finding it was a bit of a challenge. Fortunately I found some more conference attendants (one of them was an MD/PhD from U. Maryland several years ahead of me, and I was tired and distracted enough that I didn’t recognize him at first, but I don’t think he noticed)who also looked slightly lost, and between the four of us we eventually made it to the right building. The Karolinska Institut is responsible for giving out the Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine each year, so it was somewhat awe-inspiring to be there, but the campus itself is full of dark, squat, ugly buildings. I registered around 1:30, and found out that I had been seated in “overflow” seating, which meant that I was just going to see the talks via video. I was really disappointed to find that I wasn’t going to get to see the speakers in person, some of them are huge people in my field. Feeling a little sad, I found the poster hall and hung up my weirdly sized poster (apparently 2 feet wide and six feet long is the standard for scientific posters in Sweden). I found a space in the overflow room, which contained all of eight people. One would think that they could accomadate a few more in the regular lecture hall. Regardless, Eric Kandel (a nobel prize winner and the writer of THE textbook of neuroscience) gave a really awesome talk. He talked about how in addition to being able to condition an animal to associate a specific cue like a tone with something aversive like a mild foot shock (which eventually causes the animal to fear the tone), his group has been experimenting with tones that never occur together with the foot shock, essentially turning the tone into a “safety signal”. The safety signal seems to become rewarding over time, and in experiments that model learned helplessness which is often used to model depression, playing the tone will cause the animal to reduce it’s depressive-like behaviors. There was a coffee break, and I grabbed a cheese sandwich (mm, lunch), and then went back to hear more talks on the similarity between how memory and thinkinh about hypothetical likely situations and visual attention.

I left a little early from the last one since it wasn’t scheduled to end till 5:30, the talks were already running late, the hostel was 20 minutes away, and I needed to check in and get ready for the conference reception that night. I got a little turned around but eventually found my way back to the entrance I had come in by and got the bus back to the hostel. I found out my roommate wouldn’t be arriving until the next day, so I got a private (if somewhat smelly) room for one night. I checked in and took my baggage up. I had enough time to wash up a bit and change out of my jeans and tennis shoes and into my travel dress, though there wasn’t enough time for a full shower. I grabbed my invitation to the reception at Stockholm’s town hall, ID (with room key), and camera, stuffed them in my trenchcoat, and headed downstairs. There was a group of other MD/PhD girls from Cornell waiting downstairs. I looked though the pics on my camera a bit before I worked up the courage to introduce myself. They were very nice, and I ended up hanging out with them most of the conference. One of them, J, worked in one of my mentor’s friend’s labs. We chatted a bit about travel and science and other random stuff, and waited for the shuttle the conference had arranged from the hostel to Town Hall to arrive. We got on the shuttle and got scolded for being late, which puzzled us since we had waited for the bus for 10 minutes. Apparently, they thought some of us were at one of the other hotels and had run to catch the bus here. This was puzzling since the other hotel was a 10 minute drive but about a 30 minute walk. Apparently they thought we ran really fast. In heels.

The Nobel Prize Banquet is held in the Stockholm town hall, so we were pretty excited to get there. We milled around the courtyard a bit as the sun set before being left in. I went to take pictures, and found that a nearly full moon was rising over the water, just beyond the steeple of the Spanish church . It was incredibally beautiful. They finally let us in, and we were welcomed by the mayor of Stockholm and invited to have wine and a very nice buffet in the main hall. We got food and chatted some more. I felt fairly pleased with myself for socializing as much as I did. I rather suspect I wouldn’t have if anyone I’d known had been there. We talked about the accomedations (some of the others were a little more horrified by the lack of private bathrooms then I was. At least the bathrooms were very clean) and the fact that they apparently put all of the MD/PhD students in the overflow seating. Since they made a big deal in the scholarship materials about providing an opportunity for future physician scientists to interact with both clinical and bais science researchers all mixed together (and since my new companions were by nature a bit more inclined to objection to the objectionable than me), we resolved to say something the next day. We got taken on a tour of the rest of the townhall, taken the same way the Nobel prize winners are led. We got to see the gold room (which is very…byzantine), the blue hall (which is in fact, red. The architect decided that the exposed brick was really pretty, but he still liked the name blue room, so it stuck), and the area where the local government meets once a month. The tour ended and we got bussed home. I was glad to be heading back, since the adrenaline was dying down and was beginning to feel a little punchy. I (finally) took a shower, emailed wushi again, and got ready for bed. I was a little worried about not being able to sleep. I often sleep poorly before presentations, I was presenting my poster tomorrow, and I didn’t think I could do a good job on essentially two days of almost no sleep. I was out about 30 seconds after my head hit the pillow

Stockholm: getting there (Wednesday)

Sat, 19 Apr 2008 08:17:35 GMT

Jon dropped me off at the airport around nine, and I got checked in at United and through security with only minimal waits. I tried to find a store that sold power converters (Sweden's on a 200V standard), and after the third try found one at Brookstone for 25 bucks. I grabbed a vitamin water and a bag of Doritos, and ensconced myself by my gate with an hour and a half till my plane boarded. I started reading Storm Front (book one of he Dresden files), and found it to be extremely entertaining fluff. I'll definitely pick up a couple more. The flight to Chicago was a few minutes late and a bit bumpy, but generally alright. I startedto get a bit motion sick during takeoff so I napped until the ride smoothed out. I finished the book on the plane.

I arrived in Chicago around noon central time to find that I had to take the train to get to terminal 5, where the smaller international airlines were. After a few rounds of construction, the signs that were supposed to point to the train no longer did, but there was a nice old man at the information desk with maps to get there on small slips of paper. He warned me I had to go through security again once I got there, and to forestall crabbiness I grabbed a sandwich, a drink and a banana at Puck's restaurant in the airport. The chicken pesto sandwich was good, if overpriced (fortunately I'm getting reimbursed for expenses), and I'm glad I had it because the securty line was long and filled with cranky people. As I was going through security, I realized I forgot pajamas, a real problem because I had a roommate at the hospice. I made my way through the security line, changed some money to Swedish crowns (at a highway robbery rate, but ah well), and went looking through the airport shops for something that could do for sleepwear in a pinch. I was slightly amazed by my own lack of panic at the pajama situation, and began to speculate on exactly what herbs thy had put in that sandwich (some sedatives would justify the eight bucks). I finally found an extra large polo that came down to a little before my knees that would do. I became very glad that I got the overpriced sandwich when I did, because there was no actual food past security in the international terminal for some reason. I settled myself down to read I Am Legend at my gate. The story was pretty significantly different from my impression of the movie; there was the same sense of isolation, but it was considerably more thoughtful and morally ambiguous.

I boarded the plane at 4:30 and got settled in for an eight hour flight. I watched a bit of Sweeney Todd while pecking at the terrible airline dinner (the hot towels they passed out where nice, though), then settled down to try and get some sleep. Unfortunately, while I had napped a bit quite easily on the ride over, I had a really hard time falling asleep on the plane despite the fact that the flight was so uncrowded I had an entire row to myself and was able to spread out. Being in the screaming chestburster section did not help. Eventually I managed to nod off for a few hours, and woke up around 11 PM our time (6AM on Thursday in Stockholm). I picked at the airline breakfast, drank some tea to try and wake up, and got ready to hit the ground running.

Bork bork bork!

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 01:31:11 GMT

Guesswhatguesswhatguesswhat? Most of you already know this, but I'm going to Stockholm tomorrow for this conference I will be staying at "the most modern hostel in Sweden" I got funding from the conference itself for my airfare and hostel costs (naturally the hostel where they're putting the students it the only housing not really in walking distance...and they don't provide a bus. But hey, free room and plane tickets. I'm not going to whine too much). Anyway, both the conference and the hostel have free wi-fi, so I should be online or at least in email contact.

It's a two hour flight to O'Hare, a four hour layover, and then an eight hour flight to Arlanda, so I'm bringing the first Dresden files book and I Am Legend. The conference is pretty jam-packed, but I'm going to try to steal time away to walk around Gamla Stan, maybe go to the Nobel Museum. Skansen, or the Vasa Museum Even if I don't get to go to the others, just walking around Gamla Stan is pretty...wow. I'm really excited (nervous too. This will be my first time on my own in a country where English is not the first language).

Oh, and my desktop background while I'm gone will be

Strange Dreams: "You've got a little piece of something..."

Tue, 18 Dec 2007 16:18:59 GMT

I had a weird dream a week ago. As my dreams go, it was somewhat lacking in the strong narrative or deeper meaning department, but I, at least, was both entertained and mildly disturbed when I woke up.

I was sitting next to a man wearing a long black cloak. The man was simultaneously slightly taller than me, as tall as a skyscraper, and tall enough to swallow worlds. The cloak might have been shadows itself or the heart of a black hole (definitely not a polyester blend, though). Surprisingly, I wasn't terribly concerned by this, and was in fact leaning against his shoulder as he stroked my hair. We were engaged in a seemingly relaxed conversation. I was asking him about how absorbed worlds (I think I meant realities, rather than planets) like the one with the tentacled monsters he had just consumed, and he was explaining that it was simply a matter of absorbing the world's energy, though naturally, the "life patterns" of any inhabitants of the world had to be integrated into his own. I asked him if he was eventually going to eat my world (when he ran out of other worlds if nothing else, and he insisted that this was not even a possibility because the energy signature was incompatible with his own; he was therefore content merely to rule it.

I told him that sounded like bullshit to me, and I wasn't sure I believed him.

He replied rather huffily that he would think he would know more about his world consuming habits than me, and he supposed I'd just have to see I was wrong when he didn't eat my world. At this point I noticed he had a tentacle monster stuck between his teeth like a bit of spinach. The things body reminded me of a minnow, but round instead of flattened; a silver scaly cylinder with two eyes almost opposite a round maw surrounded by fine tentacles. I didn't comment on this however, because I didn't want that to result in the topic being changed. So instead I pointed out that he looked more like us than the tentacle monsters, so it didn't make sense that he would be more energetically compatible with them. I was rather smug about what was apparently a metaphysically telling point. He didn't get a chance to retort however, because just then the tentacle monster stuck in his teeth snaked a tentacle out and started dragging me towards it's maw (it was a hungry, possibly non-Euclidian tentacle monster, not a naughty tentacle monster). I screamed and started kicking it, while some small part of my mind noticed that the blue an grey tentacles looked rather fake and not at all like they belonged to the tentacle monster, and made snide comments on how the special effects budget was being spent). After a minute my companion grabbed me, set me down and swallowed the tentacle monster. He resumed stroking my hair. I woke up mildly creeped out and also retroactively suspicious the whole monster attack was an underhanded way to change the subject.